From
Gottman's book, "The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work,' talks
about overcoming gridlocks in your marriage in chapter 10. He discusses
how lost dreams that get pushed aside are the reasons for these
gridlocks. If you are able to fix and solve how you can have your dream
than you will be able to overcome gridlocks. He gives a great guideline
with steps to be able to do this with your spouse.
1. Discover your dreams
2.
After finding the dreams that you have that are associated with the
gridlocks that you have with your spouse, tell your spouse why that
dream means so much to you and the meaning that it gives.
3.
Come together to find a way that the dream can be a reality or can be
compromised in a healthy way. If you work together you will be able to
come closer and learn.
4. End the gridlock and find
compromises that will work for you two. There might be times when you
will have to realize you are married to someone that isn't perfect but
that you two need to work together to make a strong married and that
might mean letting go of unnecessary dreams.
5. The last step
is to tell your spouse thank you. This will help heal emotions and show
gratitude to your spouse with helping your dreams come true.
It
is so amazing that as couples we get the chance to work together and
help build each other up. We all have our differences and weaknesses but
if you show your spouse how much you care and love them, new ways of
solving gridlocks will come up. We all will have them and the important
thing is to work together to solve them and make sure that they build
your marriage up in the process instead of tearing it down.
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